Sunday, June 22, 2008

I Wanna Go to the New Belsen....

Continuing the theme of all but invisible wildlife photos - here are two baby seagulls on top of Caernarfon Castle.

I was intensely excited by the Vickers machine gun in the WWI exhibition in the museum at Caernarfon. They had some cool Nazi stuff too.

Sof, Cath and Phil posing in front of Snowden. As you can see I was leading the race back down. I was cheated from my victory at the top as I didn't want to go up that precarious looking pile of stones.

Phil and Cath atop the precarious pile of stones.

I was well impressed by the building work atop Snowden. I don't think the woman who I passed on the way down, who I overheard thanking God that she could take the train back would be happy though, as the trains weren't running. Hahahahahahah.

Cath tried to get a Mexican wave going but to no avail.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

I had so much time waiting for the others to catch up at the end I had time to take artsy photos.

During a game of Scrabble (what else would one do at a 'holiday' camp - I didn't have a baseball to bounce against the wall?), Phil proved once and for all that he had two eyes.

A nice ice cream from the dairy in Harlech. We wouldn't have had these at all had the 'award-winning tea room' not been shut. Crap photo - it's hard to take a picture when your ice cream is rapidly menting in one hand.

At last we know what Dave was visualising when trying to write his novel.

A ginger cat we befriended at Harlech Castle. Big ginger slut.

Some old balls at Harlech.

Harlech Castle - a 5-star Castle? You decide.

Trying to be artsy at Harlech.

We had a beach BBQ on Saturday. Sof and Cath grumbled incessantly about getting down the 3 or 4 inches of mild hill to get down to the beach. Phil and I made a fire and we all got wood. heheheh. Annoyingly, ASDA in Belsen didn't have any veggie food (discontinued due to all their customers being chavs and chavesses) but we got some from the mighty Co Op. All worked out rather well in the end. We all smelt of smoke.


So this is what Evil Lyn did after she finally retired from Snake Mountain. I find this funny if no one else does. I am looking out for Merman's Used Cars or something.

Scenery on the drive up. We stopped for sof to take a dance...

Well, I guess she's blacker than Michael Jackson. They both interfere with kids though.

Health and Safety medieval style - "danger - no karate"

Danger - migraines may be triggered in this area.


Danger - electromagnets in ceiling (Knights wear armour see)


Caernarfon Castle. Excellent castle - only ranked a 4 on some gay castle website though!
There are loads more Caernarfon pics on Facebook.

This is how all women should be.

Sof finally came home...

I swear if I hadn't known it was supposed to be a holiday camp I'd be looking for the incinerators. Holiday camp? I have a number tattoed on my arm now!?!

I mean for fucks sake - a combination mock fire and tv stand??? Who the fuck would buy these things? probably the same people who buy mock french parlour furniture and think "oooh thats classy innit". Cunts. All of them.


I think this was mine and Phil's highlight. We wanted to go in and ask for something hot and steamy...

North Wales Holiday - Belsen 'Holiday' Camp, Llyn Peninsula

Let me remember this correctly - it was the morning after the talent show, I had to get up at 5am so we could leave at 6am. That was hard. Then we drove for about 45 hours until we stopped for a picnic and for Sof to have a dance and me a piss. Still the scenery was great. Another 25 hours in the car and a bit of hunting and ringing for directions and we drove up to what may well have been a former Butlins, and is now even worse. We got the kets and drove past acres of chavs in caravans and found we had a little chalet thing which wasn't actually too bad - I REALLY hate caravans. Sof seemed disappointed(!). So we settled in and had some tea then went back out to visit Caernarfon castle (after some lunch, more tea and a wander round the market(which was shit)). The castle was ace though, although some towers were a little high for me and the windey staircases too windey. Spent ages there, although Phil didnt get his furry hackey sack from the gift shop. I thing then we drove to Asda in the hope of having a beach BBQ - opnly to find Asda in whatever hellpit that was didn't stock veggie food any more due to chavs. So we found a Co-op then drove for hours so Phil could find some desolate beach somewhere. We finally got there and there was a bit of a climb down, which Phil and I loved but the girls weren't too fussed on. We built a windbreak and fire then cooked our stuff. It was great - not quite Isle of man standard but we didn't have an axe or a Jimmy to hand. That was enough for one day so we went back to chill.

Sunday we went to Snowdon - I was all up for randomly wandering around but I was outvoted (everyone else thought we might die) so we went up one of the plotted paths. Long walk but staggeringly beautiful scenery - well worth the effort and I got to do a bit of climbing in places too. Got to the top after about 3 hours (which was very high, but I was impressed with the building site they have up there) then headed back. I really enjoyed that. I think we went back and watched the Euro Champs game then (which may have been Czech Rep v Turkey - blinder) and I cooked. Can't quite remember if we did anything else but we were pretty knackered.

Monday was time to escape Belsen so we handed out keys in and headed for Port Merion as I really wanted to go there....until we found out it was £7 each and I couldn't be arsed, so we went on to Harlech castle. Another great castle built on a hugh rocky bluff - much more castley than Caernarfon, if not as big. Some nice ice creams and tea then it was time to head home. We stopped for lunch in a woody glade in Snowdonia for a while and then continued home. A quick stop at a random beach Phil wanted to look at for surfing and 70 hours later we were back in Swansea. A great break - aside from being in a death camp.

A101 - Gambia Link Talent Show


This was my terrible jump (no 2) - I swear it hasn't been photoshopped, I genuinely look like a twat.





Shaun's youngest two were proud of their Dad...although perhaps not ultra punk...we should have spat on them.




You can see and hear our debut performance now on You Tube and Facebook - add us as an iLike and become our fans! http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=8439348172

A101 rocked out the talent show, despite bricking it all day previous and not really having finished or rehearsed "Children of the Gambia" properly until backstage. Nevertheless we nailed it - no one noticed some dodgy notes or even Sean stopping playing during House of the Rising Sun. We were buzzing when we came off - just a shame we couldn't get in Hey Mickey or Turning Japanese - still I'm sure we will roll them out for the next Open Mic.

The only slightly poor thing in the whole set was my dodgy jumps to Pretty Vacant (if you excuse my dodgy backing vocals) - they really have to be seen to be believed.

Setlist:

House of the Rising Sun....White Riot
Holidays in the Sun
Children of the Gambie
Pretty Vacant

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Kunt & The Gang - Cardiff 09/06/08 and Swansea 11/06/08

Here is Kunt with my gang. The long haired bearded weirdo was stalking Kunt all night - a mate of Charlie's I believe. Still, he was ok. Paul was simply drunk.



What are they hiding?




Kunt and Little Kunt in Barco, Swansea

As we had always suspected, Sof actually is a Kunt.

Kunt in Cardiff with Casio


I love this man - I don't even need to write reviews since its impossible to be bad. Spent most of the time before both gigs chatting to him too, a really nice bloke. I'm so gonna book him for my party next year.

Cardiff - Buffalo Bar

Setlist (Fuck knows the order):
I'm Gonna Lick you out
Perverts on the internet
Men with Beards
You're a Pervert
Chips or Tits
Fred and Rose
Wank the Dog
Carol Vorderman
Shaven Haven
Gentleman's Wash
Fucksticks
Use my Arsehole....

Swansea - BarCo

Setlist (fuck knows the order):

I'm Gonna Lick you out
Perverts on the internet
Sit Down Wee
Chips or Tits
You're a Pervert
Men with Beards
Fred and Rose
Wank the Dog
Carol Vorderman
Use my Arsehole...
Have a Wank
Gentleman's Wash
Fucksticks
Shaven Haven

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Paul "Butcher" Lewis

Does what it says on the tin.

Rough Ride 2008

Matt's official Rough Ride photo. Andy and I got missed.


Andy experiences Kington's famous narrow pavement.



Andy, for some reason, bought peas and performed his never before seen 'praying mantis'.



Andy decided that watering his bike might aid his chances.



Andy's racing picnic. Only three tins of makerel, andy?



Rough Ride 2008 - Start 10:00



Team P.I.G. (well, Matt forgot to register but never mind)



More waiting around to start




This was the worst hill of the day - almost nobody managed to ride it aside from a few nutters. Hard even to walk up!



Split point water stop. The cut off for the long route was 13:00 - I made it by 12:20. Decisions, decisions. Fuck it, I'll bottle it and take the short route.




Up the hill (familiar story) to the Split point water stop



Fortunately this bit was downhill. Very quickly.



Some riders manage to negotiate the downhill without the need for the ambulance!



Sadly that was inevitably followed by more long grassy climbs. I got cramp several times at this point.



Finally back to some Thai Green Curry and cup of tea. Perhaps not ideal on a hot sunny day. Although the tea was welcome in any weather.




Waiting around for Andy and Matt to finish. I ate my food, drank my tea, checked out my prize cycling shorts, had a massage and lay in the sun for a fair while before I saw Andy.



Matt got some impressive Helmet burn.

Report here. I will write one, I promise.

Finish Times:

Team P.I.G. (Short Route, 48km)
Me - 04:38:54
Andy - 05:33:15
Matt - 06:09:08
Martin - DNS (homosexuality)