Outraged Mothers of the world unite
Ms Phipps
The National Childbirth Trust
Dear Ms Phipps,
As a perpetually outraged mother of yet another baby (my twelfth), I was further outraged to find a veritable stranger (the woman in the next bed) looking at my new baby. At one point I distinctly heard her utter "coochy coochy", although I had to step in before any cooing could start. I feel that my child, due t start Harvard Law School next week despite being only a day old (still more mentally advanced than most Harvard freshmen) would immediately sue the woman for an infringement of its basic human rights and for loss of dignity. It is disgraceful how other people can be allowed to look at anyone, let alone babies. I firmly believe that my child will grow up into a top Ally McBeal style lawyer and take on pointless cases of people looking at, or god forbid talking to, each other, as everyone has the basic need and right not to be looked at.
Your assertion that your mailbag is not full of complaints letters from outraged mothers is obviously a myth, there must be thousands of mothers, like myself and my idol, Lizzy Bardsley off Wife Swap, that would try anything to get rich (including defrauding the benefits system). Only last week I rang the National Accident Helpline after my natural idiocy caused my to spill coffee over myself which was HOT!! I mean how absurd is it opening yourself up to lawsuits by serving hot coffeee!! These people don't know they are born.
I hope you take notice of my outrage and ban the looking at of babies immediately, and the Government, in line with the rest of their Nazi policies ban the looking at of each other as soon as possible.
Yours
Ms O Mother.
How much do I want to mail this!!?
Maybe I will get shot as a terrorist?
The National Childbirth Trust
Dear Ms Phipps,
As a perpetually outraged mother of yet another baby (my twelfth), I was further outraged to find a veritable stranger (the woman in the next bed) looking at my new baby. At one point I distinctly heard her utter "coochy coochy", although I had to step in before any cooing could start. I feel that my child, due t start Harvard Law School next week despite being only a day old (still more mentally advanced than most Harvard freshmen) would immediately sue the woman for an infringement of its basic human rights and for loss of dignity. It is disgraceful how other people can be allowed to look at anyone, let alone babies. I firmly believe that my child will grow up into a top Ally McBeal style lawyer and take on pointless cases of people looking at, or god forbid talking to, each other, as everyone has the basic need and right not to be looked at.
Your assertion that your mailbag is not full of complaints letters from outraged mothers is obviously a myth, there must be thousands of mothers, like myself and my idol, Lizzy Bardsley off Wife Swap, that would try anything to get rich (including defrauding the benefits system). Only last week I rang the National Accident Helpline after my natural idiocy caused my to spill coffee over myself which was HOT!! I mean how absurd is it opening yourself up to lawsuits by serving hot coffeee!! These people don't know they are born.
I hope you take notice of my outrage and ban the looking at of babies immediately, and the Government, in line with the rest of their Nazi policies ban the looking at of each other as soon as possible.
Yours
Ms O Mother.
How much do I want to mail this!!?
Maybe I will get shot as a terrorist?
posted by Phil at 11:15 am
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