Isle of Man - 15-18 May 2008

Leaving Luton Airport - 10:45 am (this meant getting up at 06:30)

This was to be our plane. "that's not a plane" seemed to be the general reaction.

Onboard shortly before takeoff and overpriced cups of tea.

Safe landing at a very sunny Isle of Man 45 minutes or so later.

This is what we were greeted with. 3 Legged bastards. And they have foreign money! I ask you. Still everyone seemed very nice about it and you could hardly even see them walking funny.

Well in the absence of the ANL...

Granville!....

The Castle at err Peel I think - that is Matt heading for the piss cave.

The beach where we sat eating our fish and chips bought, grudgingly, from the shop that tried to close at 9:00 on a Friday evening?!?!?!

There are, trust me, two seals in the sea here. And Adamski.

A coffee shop in Douglas served tea and coffee in the following sizes - Small, Regular and Bowl. BOWL!??! Genius. Shell tucks into the bowl of Hazlenut cappucino that made her feel sick.

Matt went for the small cup and almost fell in and drowned.

My Bowl of tea. Ace. Below gives you an idea of size.

Matt tried out a midget chair in Woolies.

Shell and I built the fire pit on the beach and what seemed to be called Port Maull

Mmmm onions and smashed pallett.

Jimmy took an axe to the beach - still, there was no one around to ask questions. We played baseball with it and some potatoes. Mostly I was just trying to impress a 14 year old Emo girl (Shell's neice I believe). What? I was on my best behaviour, I didn't get my cock out even once.

Jimmy searching for wood and looking like some weird ass hobo. Not that he has a weird ass that I know of. I dunno, maybe he does?

Ring of fire.

This one I have titled "Anakin's demise".

Matt was determined to get into the sea.

I'm not sure he fully grasped paddling though.

This was the result of me trying to dry my socks using fire. I'm not bright.

There is a tiny miniature castle in Douglas harbour to help stricken sailors. If they are all Matt's size presumably?

We played a fair bit of music in the evenings as Jimmy plays guitar, drums and bass. Here he played drums and guitar. Git.

At the Creg-Na-Baa pub (I kid you not) where the TT course runs - look, a real motorbike and sidecar!

Matt had some desire to get Shell - I'm not sure this can't be classed as cage rape. I suspect his battle against cancer gave him the necessary courage.

Bloody tourists. I could have been checking out girls in bikinis!

Below - a tower at wherever we were that may have been Port Erin?

The castle at Castletown. Shortly before this I farted so badly that Shell could taste it. I rock.

Leaving the Isle of Man behind.

We were sat next to the Emergency Exit on the way back so we studied the pictures in case something went wrong and we needed to be heroes.

Report will appear here, Teletext style.