B.I.K.E. (brainless and incredibly kruel experiment

OK OK so I couldn't think of any words beginning with K, its not like I've got an English degree...

I have decided to reacquaint myself with Swansea'a ridiculous hills and have had my bike shipped back. A little maintenance is needed, it seems my Dad has been thrashing it since he "borrowed" it 6 years ago.

All 4 brake blocks need replacing, a new saddle, new lights, new mudguard, new helmet, new pump and a crank nut so the thing doesn't fall to bits. I also MUST get some black tape for those hideous flourescent bar ends. What was I thinking?